change

im scared.

things could change. tears drip though tears in my reality.

god im terrified -what they will say.


I wont be able to speak.

 that they will try to force feed me spoonfuls of vanilla darkness, deflecting every thought ive ever had back on to me.

broken

I broke.
so much happened.
I hate them.
I alwys have, but I forgot a bit for a while.
but I remember.
I cut.
and cut, and cut...
they don't seem to care.
god its funny because I actually don't care what happen to me right now.

I can hear them now.
downstairs, saying how its natural consequences.

im broken.

mmm

happier today.

working?

dont

I made this for myself.
Don't read this.
please go away, click back.
Respect this for me, please.




I want to die. Just now, sitting here, I want to die.
Its not even sadness, just a 'why not?'
why not.
I could go downstairs and find one of a dozen bottles of prescription pain killers and swallow them all and just go to sleep.

I could steal the car and drive out to the biggest building in savannah and jump.

I can just not wake up.


I shouldn't, and I know I wont right now.
but for a minute, I considered it.

I wanted it.